69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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