I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
