Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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