So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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