please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
