Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
