God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
