I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
