the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
