I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
