I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
