i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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