I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
