My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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