I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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