Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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