Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
