If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
