so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
