the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
