we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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