we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
