The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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