One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
