good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
