Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
