Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
