Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
