Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
