im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
