just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
