you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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