the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
