Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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