flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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