youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
