Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
