I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
