OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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