Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
