Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she peed on how many people?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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