Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
