ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
