Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
