Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
