I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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