wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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