mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
