There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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