I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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