i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Panties = found
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
